Losing Relationships On The Healing Journey

Losing relationships on the healing journey is common.

It’s not your fault.

It’s not anyone else’s either.

So, why does this happen?

As someone who’s taken this journey from start to finish, there are a few things I’ve learned about people’s reactions to my healing…

Teresa in 2017

Change Is Uncomfortable For Everyone.

People have a hard time with change and watching it happen right in front of them creates anxiety. When people don’t know what the changes in your life mean for them, they don’t know how to react to you.

They’re exploring the new you just as much as you are!

Some people will realize they love the healthier version of you. These people end up being your biggest cheerleaders.

Others, unfortunately, will not. These are the people who end up exiting your life. It’s ok to let them go. They’re just not ready to move forward with you.

Watching Someone Else Make Healthy Choices Shows Others Where They Are Being Unhealthy.

This is a big one.

People would ask me how I was healing, then speak over me as I started to explain. If I talked about what I was eating, they would tell me why they could’t follow my diet in their life. Want to talk exercise? No one else does! And let’s not even get started on any of the Spiritual things I do…

And so on.

And so forth.

Anyone who struggles watching you make healthy choices for yourself, probably isn’t ready to make healthy choices for themselves, much less walk along side you as you get better.

This can be heartbreaking. Especially if you’ve been friends for a while.

But, there comes a point in your healing journey where you have to make a choice:

Your Health or Their Comfort

As an over-achieving people pleaser, this was a hard one for me. I’m still mourning the loss of friendships I deeply valued.

However, at the end of the day, if they couldn’t support a healthy me, I had to walk away.

Teresa in 2018

Focusing on me takes time and attention away from them.

Any relationship that requires more from you than you’re giving to yourself is a relationship out of balance.

When I started healing, I began to realize how unbalanced some of my relationships actually were. In some cases, the people in my life came to realize that a healthier me actually meant I had more time and energy to focus on them… because I was spending less time and energy being sick!

These relationships blossomed.

The relationships that fell apart where the ones in which a healthy, balanced me meant no more co-dependency with them. Some people were not interested in the alternative. So, again, I walked away.

Moving Forward

Healing requires a letting go of all the things in life that don’t support your health and well-being. It means taking chances, branching out, trying new things, thinking new thoughts, and meeting new people.

Go slowly. Take things one step at a time. And don’t give up. In the end, you’ll realize you’ve gained far more than you’ve lost.

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